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We use the picture cards from a standard deck of playing cards to rate movies. Why? Well, what else could be cooler than rating movies by giving them Aces for legends and Jokers for bombs?
Ace (5 out of 5)This is our highest rating possible for a standard movie. If it is an Ace, rest assured it is cool as hell. Now mind you, some movies are aces not so much because of how good that movie might be compared to some of today's flicks, but rather based on whether it had a huge impact on films in general. For instance, take Jaws. Perhaps a fairly shitty movie if you saw it today, but Jaws is part of the national conscientious now man. You got to give Jaws an Ace for that. What a second, we got to hand Rocky an Ace too. Good movie but if I had to pay to see it today, fuck that.
King (4 out of 5)A King is a pretty damn good movie. Who knows? Maybe one day it will be an Ace. Or, it could almost be an Ace already, but then we just want to see how it holds up over time. Maybe, and I throw this out there for conjecture, Midnight Run, starring old Bobby D, is a King, which might one day become an Ace. Our crystal ball is broke, so we don't know for sure. Queen (3 out of 5)A decent bang for the buck. Perhaps not quite as good as a King for problems in areas of creativity, originality, acting, writing but not necessarily bad. Maybe a sequel to some popular movie like an okay Bond flick.
Jack (2 out of 5)We are getting into some really shitty movies now. Movies which for one thing or another, really suck. Now, keep in mind, some movies suck so bad in the right way, they score well in a category we call "Campy Cool." Nonetheless, a Jack is a disappointing film all around. Joker (1 out of 5)We feel like assholes for having watched it.
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