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Welcome to the Frontpage
A satire and humor Web magazine from Scratch Writing.
Latest news from your pals at CoolFilmz.com
Subject: Latest news from your pals at CoolFilmz.com
Send date: 2009-07-12 19:35:34
Issue #: 1
Content:
CFz Newsletter header
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1

CoolFilmz Round-up

Dear  [NAME],

Welcome to our very first CoolFilmz newsletter - surely a gallstone in the muted yet heralded history of film criticism.  In case you have not been to our manly site recently, there are a lot of evolutionary changes.  Here is what you need to know:

  • Forums have been added.  Now you can discuss films with our expert panel and other like-minded film-going fools.  Join the even-keeled and insightful Sam Minardi in Sports; Kevin Meehan takes your funny seriously in Comedy and I like to think of myself as your personal consiglioere when it comes to good crime films.

  • You can register with the site.  Connect with others.  Send private messages.  Post stuff in our forum.  Comment on our blog or any of the film reviews.  Take surveys.   

  • For fear of stating the obvious, this newsletter itself is new.  It has been added to keep you informed regarding the latest and greatest our site has to offer. 

  • Another gun has been hired. We welcome Sam Minardi to our esteemed critics panel.  Sam will serve as a film reviewer and sports films moderator.  Sam brings years of experience spent watching movies and sports to our site.  He has a keen eye for what makes a good sports film just that and is another film reviewer exclusive to CooFilmz (so far as we know).

  • The site has more a grungy feel to it now.  However, we not only have a bullet hole in our logo, we softened up a bit and added some lipstick marks.  After all, a movie without some smoking hot babe is merely one long Bob Evans commercial. 

In case you forgot we rate movies according to the picture playing cards in a standard card deck.  If you can't figure out what sort of movie an "Ace" is versus a "Joker" then please unsubscribe from this newsletter and join us for a poker game at my house next month.  Bring all your money!       

Best regards,

 

Matthew J. DeReno
CoolFilmz.com

 

Reviews Recently Added

 

The Express (2008)

Sam Minardi

KingInspirational is an overused term, in my humble opinion.  However, “The Express” can only be described as such.  The story of Ernie Davis is extraordinary and it’s quite amazing to see how far African-American athletes have come over the past half century.


Read more...

 
 
 
 
 
 

Jackie Brown (1997)

Kevin Meehan

queenSomehow I had made it this far in life without seeing Jackie Brown and that pisses me off.

I don’t think I’ve ever been disappointed by a Quentin Tarantino film so how did I let Jackie Brown slip under my Cool Filmz radar?

Just what in the hell have I been doing since this Elmore Leonard-based flick was put to the talents of our good friend Q. Tarantino?

Man, I could have had another two and a half hours of quality entertainment in my life.

Here’s what I had been missing...


Read more...
 

Joshua (2007)

Sam Minardi

QueenJoshua, starring Sam Rockwell as Brad Cairn and Jacob Cogan as Joshua Cairn, is a story of a nine-year old boy coping with the birth of his new baby sister, Lily. Joshua torments his parents, the newborn and any living species he happens to encounter.  He’s a deceitful little shit and rivals Macaulay Culkin’s character in “The Good Son” (1993) for the most sadistic kid in recent memory. 


Read more...
 
 
 
 
 

X-Files: I Want To Believe (2008)

Matthew J. DeReno

QueenThis nearly decade after the first installment of X-Files: Fight The Future (1999) is a worthy film for the genre.  You need not be a fan of the original TV Series or even knowledgeable about it, but it surely helps.  In this X-Flick we are reunited with FBI agents Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) and Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) who have since both retired from the FBI, but whose services are sought in one form or another, to help solve a perplexing crime.  For fans of the series, it is hard not to enjoy both Duchovny and Anderson reprising their famous roles.   


Read more...
 
 
 

Marley and Me (2008)

Matthew J. DeReno

KingSoon after their wedding, John and Jenny Grogan hightail out of the cold Michigan winters  and set up family shop in a southern Florida neighborhood.  They are hired as reporters for newspapers. At The Palm Beach Post, Jenny immediately receives prominent front-page assignments, while at the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, John finds himself writing obituaries and two-paragraph articles about mundane news like a fires at the local garbage dumps.  Not sure how they even pay the house on the obit writing job. 


Read more...
 
 
 

Righteous Kill (2008)

Matthew J. DeReno

JackI have been waiting, waiting for so long to see a super kick ass flick with surely who are the penultimate CoolFilmz legends: DeNiro and Pacino – men whose first names we dare not mutter for fear of a bloody boot stomp to the head or a good old piano wire garroting (“leave the canola”). Capeesh?  


Read more...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Guns (2008)

Sam Minardi
QueenThis may be the first and last time you ever read a review of a Canadian TV mini-series (now available on DVD) on this site.  But how can CoolFilmz.com not review a movie that has all of the following – a smokin’ hot chick (Elisha Cuthbert), street thugs, bad ass cops, organized crime and a shit load of guns.  What else can a guy ask for?   

Read more...
 
 
 
 
 
 

Burn After Reading (2008)

Kevin Meehan
queenJoel and Ethan Coen achieved possibly their greatest critical success with 2007’s No Country for Old Men, a film they were writing the screenplay for at the same time as their new release Burn After Reading.

Just because they were made at the same time, however, doesn’t mean Burn After Reading is going to be anywhere near as good as No Country For Old Men.


Read more...
 
 
 

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